We’re having our first few days of really warm weather- doesn’t mean the wind isn’t blowing 9-0- but the sun is shining and it is upwards to 84 degrees.

Gotta love it.

‘Cuz it might be snowing next weekend. 

This is, after all, West Texas.

Nonetheless, this gets me all excited for Sun  Season.

If you’re a Bed Bug, don’t tell me.  Although, I’ve been known to steal a “base tan” in a fakn’ bake bed, I try to avoid them these days.  They’re just too dangerous for my goblin skin.

So, what do I do?  Well, what else would you expect me to do?

I FAKE IT!

Some tips for Sunless Tanning-  feel free to consider me your Online Source of Friendly Reminders and Bossy How-To’s.  Like that advice you used to get from your great-grandma after she’s had a few too many nips of gin. 

Sunless Tanning Skillz According to Sassy Gal (who hasn’t been nippin’ gin):

1.  Exfoliation is the key to the glow.  I use the Equate brand Apricot Scrub before I shave.  It gently removes all dead skin and allows your razor to get closer to the skin for a smoother shave.  Trust me, this works.  I used to do the scrub after I shaved.  Why?  I don’t know.  It just seemed reasonable.  Until I became a Sassy Gal.  Then, I learned the truth.

2.  Shave.  This step is a must.  Hairy legs just aren’t conducive to Sunless Tanning.  Or anything else for that matter.  So, for the love of all things bright, beautiful, and holy- PLEASE shave.

3.  Moisture.  I recommend mixing moisturizer 1:1 with your sunless tanning cream.  If you are using a sunless tanning spray, wait a few hours after moisturizing OR don’t moisturize beforehand.  Use your moisturizer a few hours afterwards, too. 

Sunless products dry your skin.

SUPER IMPORTANT FOR SPRAY-ONS:  EVEN IF IT SAYS NOT TO, you must rub and blend after application or it will streak.  Do NOT listen to the manufacturers who write “no rubbing required”.  They’re probably men.  Love The Men, but they don’t always have the most developed Sunless Tanning Skillz.

4.  Apply the Sunless Tanning poison of choice (just a figure of speech.  Not really poison.  I promise.) daily until your desired color is achieved.  Stick with it.  You can do all of the above steps several times until you get the color your heart desires.

 

You can buy Sunless Tanning Cream containing moisturizer.  The only thing is this kind sometimes takes a few more days to develop. 

Like this….

Mary Kay Subtle Tanning Cream (It’s in the “Best Self Tanners Guide, too!)
$14

 

 Check this out….Best Self Tanners

LOVE IT!

So, here’s to saying goodbye to The Pastey White and HELLLLO! to The (Faux) Bronzy Glow,